Were you bullied? Say NO to bullying !

October 13, 2023

Were you bullied? Say NO to bullying !

SAY NO TO BULLYING!

Have you ever been bullied? Go back to your past self and ask this to yourself cause many of us are not even aware that we are getting bullied cause these bullies make us believe that we are the wrong ones. Bullying can be itself of many types it can be verbal, it can be physical anything which breaks your will power. Bullying can ruin your perspective for whole life in various topics whether it’s friendship or romantic relationship, Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, Bullying is a distinctive pattern of repeatedly and deliberately harming and humiliating others, also these bullies will outcast you from any group activity to make you feel a loner. Bullying has a very adverse effect on child’s psyche it just makes the child a unhealed wound which can never be healed until right cream is applied it can’t be healed on it’s own. Bullying also effect the bullies they in their adult form still poses the character traits which makes them very nasty humans.

I saw a Korean web series “THE GLORY” which throws light on the heinous and a serious issue in South Korea which is of bullying but these bullying are way worse what we can imagine in our mind its borderline attempted murder, " THE GLORY" is about a woman who seeks revenge on the classmates who severely bullied her as a teen. In creating The Glory, Kim researched the systemic school violence that has impacted Korean society for decades. Bullying is a widespread problem in Korea, where suicide has been the number one cause of death for young people since 2007. In the past few decades, it has also become a much discussed one, as the government works to combat the problem. In 2004, Korea passed a law called The Special Act on School Violence Prevention, following the deaths of several teenagers by suicide after they were bullied. The legislation led to the formation of school committees to monitor bullying, but according to this recent Korea Times article, bullying is still a major problem. In The Glory, fictional character Dong-eun is severely bullied by a group of classmates. They sear her skin with a hair-curling iron, scratch her with pins, and beat and kick her, Of course, that is just the physical toll. The targets of bullies also suffer psychological trauma that can follow them into adulthood. Though The Glory uses Dong-eun’s burn scars as a visual representation of the abuse she has survived, the series is much more interested in exploring how being bullied as a teen—and the absolute failure of the adults in her life to protect her—have shaped her mental health and life choices. In Episode 6 of the series, the usually stoic Dong-eun has a panic attack on the floor of a mechanic shop. It is triggered by the sound of meat being cooked on a grill, which brings back memories of her abuse. This whole Kdrama brought the crisis in limelight not only in Korea but in the whole world because this crisis persists everywhere.

The curling iron scene from the Korean web series "THE GLORY"

Bullying in India is not gruesome as South Korea but it’s not even lenient We Indians know bullying in its subset form called “Ragging” which happens in colleges and university where some people were killed, and others were hurt badly. In India ragging is taken seriously and banned but bullying in school aren’t much noticed although in 2015, due to rising cases of bullying in schools, the Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE), issued guidelines for the prevention of bullying which included the mandatory setting up of Anti-Bullying committees in schools. These committees would comprise of the vice-principal, a senior teacher, school doctor, counsellor, parent-teacher representative, school management representative, legal representative and peer educators.

. The roles and responsibilities of this committee would include:

· Development and review of School Bullying Prevention Plan,
· Development and implementing bullying prevention programs,
· Developing training programs for staff, students, and parents,
· Creating awareness through various programs,

· Being vigilant and observing signs of bullying and responding quickly and sensitively. Names and contact numbers of members of the committee should be clearly displayed everywhere in the school premises,

But somewhere we all know it’s not effective much the trauma lives within you how much you want to run away from that trauma, but it comes back to you as your shadow which you can’t escape eventually. Pyscologically it just tears the person. Those bullies when they grow up, they forget what they did cause for them it’s mere a game, a moment of enjoyment but for the victim it becomes a lifetime scar they would never forget what you did. Sometimes teachers to get involved in bullying either become a bystander or paint their hands red by themselves bullying the child, often it is seen the victim gets hesitant to even talk about their problems. Very little is known about how teacher interventions influence the adoption of bullying-related student roles It is unclear what kind of teacher interventions are followed by actual changes in bullying-related student behaviors and whether the effects of teacher interventions differ for bullies, victims, bully-victims, defenders and bystanders. In addition, previous research has typically used teacher self-reports to assess teacher interventions and student self-reports to measure bullying-related behaviors.

“HEY YOU GET UP! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAUSES TROUBLE TO THE WHOLE CLASS, CHILDREN TELL ME IS HE/SHE THE ONE CAUSES YOU ALL TROUBLE, YOU ARE AN IDIOT! NO! I AM NOT GOING TO LISTEN WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY! YOU ARE SUCH A CHARACTERLESS PERSON, ETC.”

These are some very mild and few words teachers shame the target student Infront of her/his peers in classroom which shatters the confidence and will power of that student, he/she can never raise their heads and talk to someone, Teachers bullying effect much harsher cause it’s coming from an adult and the child is said to be respecting adults especially the teachers cause they are imparting knowledge so eventually the child seems to question itself that they are to be blamed , it’s peak gaslighting at this point. Teacher bullying as "using power to punish, manipulate, or disparage a student beyond what would be a reasonable disciplinary procedure.

BUT the question arises Why do teachers bully?

teachers do bully for various reasons; A student may remind them of someone they dislike. Or, in a surprising reversal of the "teacher's pet" syndrome, insecure teachers may bully bright students out of envy. Other teachers suffer from personal problems -- job burnout, marital woes, or severe behavior problems with their own children -- and they take out their frustrations in class. Furthermore, in some troubled schools, students bully teachers -- and teachers dish it back to avoid appearing weak. "Teachers are often physically scared of students. The sadistic teacher hacks on kids in a way that indicates they might get some pleasure from it," That means "humiliating students, hurting students' feelings, and being spiteful Parents or school administrators usually address physical altercations between students and teachers. However, behaviors such as verbal, mental, or psychological abuse may be less likely to be reported by the victim or fellow students and teachers Parents or school administrators usually address physical altercations between students and teachers. However, behaviors such as verbal, mental, or psychological abuse may be less likely to be reported by the victim or fellow students and teachers.

Teachers in school have to be more sensitive towards the students in their classroom, they need to understand every student of there are not going to react in same way as they expect to be and there are every type of students with their own academic power, moral policing them especially female students who has to go through this, things that are associated with their gender are often looked down upon in school level. They are shamed for wearing make-up, hanging out with other girls or even for the mere length of their skirt. Slut-Shaming is often used in both schools and universities against female students. At the same time, students who choose to not opt for it are labeled as “tomboys” and treated with similar policing.

“When we blame girls for “provoking” boys, we teach boys that they

are not accountable for their actions. It creates a justification for

their behavior.”

So, who do we hold accountable, the students, the teacher or the school administration and how can we stop it completely or can we ever? The questions will be always unanswered cause when you grow you forget and that time there was no one to hold them hold accountable which further makes them believe that they did nothing wrong and they continue with their sweet merry life, because there are no proofs and no laws against it. Bullying in school need to be addressed immediately when it's happening , because it may turn into social bullying these bullies will organize in groups, they often engage in attention seeking behavior, may be cracking jokes, constantly picking on someone, or any act to separate themselves and gain the attention of their peer, also sometimes people are jealous or envious towards a certain individual, maybe due to his looks, his ability, talent or competence and you target them by bullying them to assert your dominance in front of them.

When you are getting bullied recognize who is your friend, who is a bystander and who is bully, A true friend would never engage in socially alienating or isolating you. Analyze your relationships and figure out who among your peers actually cares about you, your aspirations, your interests and believes in you. Start spending more time around people who are more welcoming, compassionate and understanding towards. Build your own social safety net, and keep your dearest friends close to you. If there is a person or a group of people around whom you feel uncomfortable, or if you feel like they pick on you or mock you too much, then stop spending time with them and cut their toxicity out of your life. Slowly but surely, if you start filtering your social relationships, you will start feeling more comfortable in social scenarios and regain your confidence and self-esteem.

Ask for Help, this is the most obvious and yet for many, the hardest step to take. Your closest friends and family are always there to help you, take care of you when you’re going through a tough time and help you regain your self-belief. But often, when someone is subject to social bullying, they recede into themselves and do not take the help or seek advice from their family.

Talk to anyone with whom you are comfortable expressing your vulnerabilities and struggles with. Just the act of sharing your predicament can go a long way in helping you cope emotionally with what you are dealing with. Be Yourself This is also of utmost importance. People’s negative opinions can impact you so much that you can start believing that you are exactly what they say you are. It is hard to maintain your own distinct identity when you are facing social bullying, but it is paramount that you stay the way you are and do not change yourself due to social pressure or a need to fit in.

When I was in class 3^rd this episode of bullying started I never knew what was going on with me , I always thought it was my fault I was self-blaming which is very natural in the case of bullying and it kept on continued till I reached class 12^th, my bullies use to bully me most of the time verbally and made me an outcast in whole class and surprising for me was that teachers were not doing anything about it , I was too stunned cause either the teacher just shush the things or she use to blame me so it got depressing day by day cause I was getting tired fighting , I had no more energy left within me to fight so it was darkness all over , I was called various names , I was Bengali in my class so it was again a thing for me to fight cause they said all racist slurs they could. I lost my ability to have a social life when I entered college all I thought was to fight again so emotionally I was stressed, which also results in my bipolar episodes.

Bullying can really ruin you, if you are reading this and you are one of my bullies, I hope you realize it as soon as possible what damage you did and if any victim is reading it, please fight back and talk about it more and more!

I have written this in the hope that if you ever come across such things, we may think this is small and leave it but I request you to please stop it from happening and if possible tell children about how they should not bully or open up if they are being bullied by their friends. These things hugely impact their young innocent minds and change them forever without their knowledge

Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, fracture for fracture. The one who inflicted the injury must suffer the same. I don’t know. That sounds too fair to me.” – Moon Dong Eun, THE GLORY